1.You call a friend.You explain to him how you've been trying to love money but money hasn't been loving you back,you only see her with other guys.You further inform him how you are planning to go to bed for supper.He sends you cash via mobile money transfer.
2.You start dancing.
3.Your phone vibrates.You stop dancing.Several whatsapp messages.They are from the group 'sure bets'.
4.Someone has just shared some odds and he's swearing by his grandmother's dress that they are 1000% sure.
5.Suddenly you don't feel hungry anymore.The money you got from your friend finds itself in one of the local betting sites.
6.Bet placed.You decide to nap to conserve the remaining little energy.
7.You dream that you are eating some sweet loaf of bread.You wake up 2hrs later only to realise that you have been chewing your own matress.
8.You open the live score app.All the games on your multibet have won except for one which is still in progress.The good news is that that one remaining team(let's call it Tialala Fc) is 2-0 up at half time.
9.50th minute,65th minute,70th minute;Tialala Fc are still two nil up.
10.You realise that you are on the verge of winning a tidy sum of money.You mentally start making a to-buy list.
11."Hi beautiful",you text the chic upstairs.
12.10 minutes later she hasn't replied.May be she used a pigeon to reply or she sent a smoke signal.You check outside, there's no smoke coming out of her room.You don't see any pigeon either outside.
13."Hi",she finally replies.
14."Busy tonight?"You text back at the speed of light.
15."No ",she replies."Feel like going out?I'l cater for everything"
16."Really?""Yeah,believe me sweery,I gat enough to feed the needy."
17."O.k,handsome,Iam in."Handsome? Wasn't it the other day that this same chic claimed that you are as ugly as a duckling?Anyway yaliyondwele sipite.
18.While you are busy texting the Devil gets a call."Yo' boss,agent demon 666 here.Our man on the ground reports that some dude from Kenya is 5 minutes away from winning a hefty sum through betting."
19."Kenya?""Yes boss,that country in Africa whose citizens elect millionaires who then appoint other millionaires to try and fix the system that made them millionaires."
20."Oh!I remember that country.I will take care of that dude fam."
21.Your phone vibrates.A notification from the livescore app.Tialala Fc have conceded a goal.It's the 89th minute,no worries.
22.Phone vibrates again.Tialala Fc better not have conceded another goal.
23.Tialala Fc have conceded another goal.92nd minute.
24.Phone vibrates.Full time score 2-2.
25.Phone rings.It's the chic from upstairs."Hello,I'm ready let's go."
26.You want to put your phone into a blender and crush it but you quickly remember you don't own a blender.It was in the mental to-buy list.
27.A whatsapp message from the group sure bet.It's the guy who shared the 1000% sure odds.He says that he's very sorry.If only you could get him you would hit him so hard with your right hand that he would beg you to use your left.
28.Meanwhile your hunger has resurfaced.You stomach growls loudly;so loudly that your neighbour texts your "brathe punguza volume ya woofer."You want to go over and hit him in the face with a meat tenderizer .You remember you don't own a meat tenderizer.Just like the blender,it was in the to buy list.
29.Elsewhere,the Devil is having fun."Hahaha!"He laughs as he slaps his knee."Honey what's funny?",asks his wife."Nothing,just work related stuff.""Come to bed,I'm cold.""Cold?But we are in hell!"His wife gives him an angry stare."O.k,I'm coming,lemme first change my whatsapp status.
30.The Devil then changes his whatsapp status from 'Uhuruto tano tena' to 'Good day in office'.
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