BROTATO CHIPS.

Knowledge is power and most men are powerless when it comes to cooking anything other than ugali.But don't thou fret misters ; I've got your backs like a turtle shell.Lemme take this moment broment and present to you a manual  explaining step  by step on  how to make potato brotato chips.

Ladies today you are not involved. Just grab some popcorn and watch in awe as I kick knowledge into my clueless Bros. 

          Requirements.
a. Be fungry i.e f****ing hungry(the state whereby you wish you could copy food and  paste it in your stomach)
b. Potatoes
c. Cooking oil

          Procedure
1. Close the kitchen door tightly behind you. 

2.Kick the dustbin out of place.

3.Look for a sharp knife. Okay, so you only own a butter knife, hehe, this is gonna be fun.

4. Peel the potatoes one by one. Pause after every 30 seconds to lick the miscellaneous cuts on your hand. 

5.Kick the dustbin back into its place. 

6.Pour some oil into the frying pan and place it on the cooker. Wait for the oil to boil. 

7.Drop the potatoes  into the oil and get 3rd degree burns from the splashing oil. 

8.Rush and dip your hands into cold water while wondering why bad things happen to good people.

9.Rush back to the pan and realize that you didn't not even cut the  potatoes into pieces and you are frying them whole.

10.Change of plans:you now decide that you are  cooking mashed potatoes. 

11.Hunger pangs are now physically attacking you .So you decide  to go to your neighbours and boil an egg as the potatoes get cooked. 

12.Ah! So the neighbour has a microwave,surely  if one is careful enough he can cook an egg using a microwave. 

13.Your neighbour is sceptical about your  idea but your swear by your grandmother's dress that  you've tried it before.

14. 1minute,2 minutes ,3minutes.... 

15.Kaboooom!

16.''Please don't kill us, we don't even like Kenya that much'',you both scream thinking it's the Alshabaab. 

15. After a few minutes of not being dead, you look around and realize that it was the microwave. 

16.The neighbour  opens the microwave and  finds  its inside  decorated with a mosaic pattern of egg yolk and shell pieces. 

17."Ngamia hii kesho uniletee hii microwave ikiwa safi," says the irate neighbour as he hands it  to you. You feel like hurling an angry bird towards him but you quickly remember that  you are  the guilty party. 

18.You do the walk of shame back to your room, microwave in hand. 

19.Your walk of shame turns into a sprint  for  there is smell of burning potatoes coming from your house. 

20.You find that all the potatoes are burnt. 

21.Yeah,the Devil is real. 

22.You decide to call and seek help from your girlfriend.... (Oh, ladies my apologies, you were actually involved).

23.You then remember that she doesn't even know how to cook.

24.Before I go any  further I must tell you something :dude you  are in a gay relationship. 

25.You then give up and go to sleep still very fungry. 

    
Bromygoodness!