The other day I was strolling somewhere In Kenya.The sun was blazing so I decided to shelter at some bus stop before that heat denatured my enzymes.A few minutes later,I was joined by a lady.She was definitely in a hurry for she kept throwing glances down the road.
She was beautiful.So beautiful that if she was a vegetable then she would be a cutecumber.She had those type of eyes that make you confess things you didn't even do.I remember one instance where she innocently looked at me and I almost claimed responsibility for the 1994 Mtongwe ferry disaster.
Her forehead was perfect.I would have let her headbutt me all day long if she wanted to.
She was in a decent mini-skirt,not those little things the size of a belt I see people wear in Campus.Need I say that she had better legs than an isosceles triangle?
In short she was without blemish;I could drink her bath water.This kind of beauty might be the real reason why our good Lord gifted us with eyeballs.
Chics are experts in thwarting mens' attempts to get their phone numbers.Sometimes they do it so harshly that the man in question is left feeling more unwanted than the 1st slice of bread.I didn't want to be a part of this statistics so I went into a corner and come up with some strategy.
1.Greet her.
2.Nicely ask her her name.
3.Say how sweet her name sounds(even if it's Jezebel)
4.Tell her that I bet her phone number sounds even sweeter than her name.
5.Be given the number.
6. Text her later how I wish to be wrapped around her heart like her coronary arteries.
A strong wind blew past .I took it as a sign of my ancestors' approval of my strategy."Kijana wetu ako ndani,ndaaaaani,ndani kabisa."
I was about to go through my strategy for the last time when a matatu appeared on the horizon.The conductor started to bang its side violently and it began to lose speed.My potential soul mate started picking up her things.I panicked.
"Hi, Iam Dennis and I am writing a phonebook,can I have your number?"
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