BARBER YAO.

During the holidays I attended my cousin`s wedding which was held in Machachussets town(formerly called Machakos).I had decided not to shave for the wedding for reasons I don`t even know  myself.

Some few minutes before the wedding I met my mother whom I had not seen for over a month.She was excited and very friendly until she noticed my ndengu -like hair.She commented  how my hair resembled goat droppings and went ahead to loudly wonder whether  I was pursuing Medicine or witchcraft back at campus(she may have not used these actual words but you get how  disgusted she was back there)

I went around looking for a decent barber shop and found myself in one which was a barber shop and a saloon at the same damn time.There was a lady inside .The minute I saw her  my body immediately went into a fright and flight mode(the last time I had an encounter with a female barber I was left looking like a Alopecia areata patient)

The lady sensed my uneasiness and proceeded to assure me that she was as good as any barber can be.I chose to believe her.

On close inspection,I noticed that my potential barber was phat.She had the typical Kamba type of beauty:medium height,light skin and smiling eyes.She had also a 20,000 megawatt smile,the kind that makes you give out your wallet unconsciously.I would have described her further but I lack the lexis to describe other things without sounding obscene.

So like a lamb being led on  for slaughter, I took a sit and made myself at home."How do you wish to be shaved?"This voice at close range sounded like pure dripping honey mixed with nectar and sukari nguru.I mumbled something.She then inspected the shaving machine and then gently started doing her thing.

Usually when being shaved(by ndumes),my mind wanders from Arsenal, to food, to  Ariana Grande and to any other random stuff.This time my thoughts were collected and highly organised.I was thinking about world peace,the cure for cancer,green energy,North Korea`s dangerous nuclear policies among many other sophisticated topics.

After she was through,she shampooed my head making it feel like it had undergone some kind of  moulting.By the time she was applying the aftershave, I felt so calm that I nearly broke into a song.On looking in the mirror, my new hair cut was cooler than a polar bear`s toe nail.She was good.

I asked for the price and she said ``Thirty." ``Thirty thousand?",I was ready to convince my father to sell a piece of land.``No, thirty bob."I could not believe it.I think I even attempted looking around for any hidden cameras from Naswa.Finally still in disbelief, I paid her and it was with much effort that I managed to get out of that barber shop.

Jokes aside, this encounter with a competent  lady barber made me look back and appreciate how far we have come as a society.