MEAL TIME PRAYERS.

Prayers are very crucial.What`s equally crucial is for them to be brief especially if it is before meals.

 When a meal is ready,psychologically we are full of anticipation.Physically,our oral cavities increase their salivary output and our nostrils are at their peak performance picking up the aroma.The only acceptable happy ending for this kind of persecutory build up is a brief prayer and then letting people do justice to the food pronto.

 Lets take a quick look into the anatomy of a standard prayer before a meal.First thank the supreme being you believe in for the constant supply of respiratory substrates. Then conclude by humbly requesting Him to bless the meal so that its metabolism benefits your body(If its junk food,this is the time where you pray for a less severe form of Coronary heart disease or hypertension)

Why in the prayer would you ask the Lord to bless the Kinangop farmers who grew the potatoes we have used for the meal?The fact that we have cooked their potatoes is a sure sign that they got blessed with sales.

Why would one when praying for food decide to thank Jesus for all of the miracles He did in the New Testament?The blind son of Bartimaeus surely deserved getting healed coz he seemed like a nice chap but what the hell has he got to do with the Ugali -Sukuma we are about to eat?

Making lengthy prayers in front of hungry people is like campaigning for an ass whooping.Somebody might just send you to the emergency department of the nearest health facility.Hypoglycemia makes human patience razor thin.

The only exception where one can can pray for long before a meal is when it is well known that the person who prepared the meal is a labbish cook.In every society,there are these people who think they are great cooks while in the real sense they are just food poisoning practitioners.Before eating food cooked by such people,you will surely need to pray about the imminent stomach upset.In fact,in this case pray vehemently until you start foaming at the mouth.

TOOTH BE TOLD.

It's a truth universally acknowledged that white is a nice colour.White is peace. White is purity. White is calmness (except for those all white parties you people attend in clubs, there’s nothing calm about them).

I am not so enthusiastic about white things (ugali doesn't count).Consequently, I have a jaundiced opinion about white clothes; they are the spoilt brats of the clothes fraternity. They get dirty without even trying;simply getting soiled by atmospheric gases.

In my campus life, the only white things in my life have consistently been the classical triad of a Lab coat, books and toilet paper. Two years ago, I decided to add my teeth to this list so I made a visit to the School of Dentistry (SOD).

I had to undergo scaling. It’s a minor procedure which can be done by the senior dental undergraduate students. I had lots of options to choose from from the dental class of finalists that year and after a thorough vetting, I had 3 closely tied candidates.

The 1^st candidate was my neighbour, a very dedicated chap but I didn't like his Afro, so he was out. The next guy; a good friend ,was a well-built bloke and that made me fear that he would pluck out my jaw during the procedure. So he was also out.

The last guy was the perfect candidate; no ridiculous Afro and he was not extremely muscular. Even much better, he was my roommate back in our junior years. I looked for him and made an appointment.

The day of the procedure I went very early to SOD and found my guy ready. 

He was twirling some dental instrument like a cow boy holstering a revolver, just to establish dominance. He was also smiling suspiciously. These two acts got me worried that may be he was using the procedure as an opportunity to settle old scores. You see, back when we were roommates he had lend me some 50 bob and each time he tried to demand for it I got instant deafness(My name is DENIs, how do you expect me to pay a deni?)

I prayed hard that the young dentist didn't inject something lethal into my gums making all my teeth fall off like the flowers of a jacaranda tree.

 Surprisingly, there was no any crying or gnashing of teeth on my part. Most likely my good pal had forgotten all about his 50 bob.

We were told many things in our child hood. Some of the things turned out to be a scam. Taking care of our teeth is not one of them. Whatever you heard about dental hygiene as a child most likely still remains true even as you adult. Try to practice it.

"Always be kind to your dentists, they too have fillings."-John Kibogoyo.